Al Gore Puts An End To Cash For Clunkers
August 1, 2009 · carl · Print This Article
All of this time I thought that Barack Obama and Al Gore were homeboys.
Barack Obama promised to be an environmentally friendly president, to create millions of “green” jobs, etc.
We all know that Al Gore is the only thing standing between us and all life on Earth coming to an end at 4:15 next Tuesday.
So what happened to cause a falling out between the man who was our only hope to change (damn, there’s those words again)
America and the only man who could save the world?
Obama instuted the “cash for clunkers” program.
Cash For Clunkers was Obama’s way of getting older, gas guzzling vehicles off of the road, as well as adding a stimulus (damn, I did it again) to the economy by boosting new car sales.
Mr. Gore was fine with this until the light bulb (fluorescent of course) went off over his head.
He became highly upset when he learned that with The Earth In The Balance, one quarter of a million vehicles that will wind up being traded in on this program are being sent to the scrapyard!
A third of the state of Tennessee experienced a electrical blackout when Gore fired up his Cray supercomputer to do the math on the cost/benefit ratio of getting gas guzzlers off of the road as opposed to adding 250,000 cars to America’s junkyards.
Al called Obama, and they agreed to put the program on hold.
And they are working towards patching things up between the two of them.
Gore chartered a private jet and flew to D.C.
Over a few beers, Obama agreed to suspend the program until Gore can come up with a way to exploit it.
They are still discussing how to spin the fact that they are shutting down the only stimulus idea that actually seemed to be working.
But as long as the beer holds out, I’m sure they will come up with something, after all they are the top two men in their field when it comes to misleading the American public.
I just hope they remember to recycle the cans.
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Big Al’s sun had set when Pelosi told him his testimony on the Hill was not needed in 07/09.
Al didn’t mind BHo buying more UAW devotion through an innovative Chitcago like governmental scam, but Al melted down when he found out that anywhere from 10% or more of these most heinous pollution machines could slip through the federal decommissioning program and end up in-service in third world countries, with economies barely better than Tennessee’s.
Somehow Al remembered most of the salvage yards are run by the mob. The same kind of homeboys Joe Kennedy used as Mr Fixits to grease Jacko’s skids. No Al protested, cash for crap can’t be allowed to drag down our world-wide ecosystem.
BHo will have to develop alternative crime sprees to buy Dems the next 31/2 years worth of power.