We Are Getting A Lot Of Czars Per Obama Now Baby!
July 2, 2009 · carl · Print This Article
Here a Czar, there a Czar, everywhere a Czar Czar, old Obama had a Czar, eieio.
Forget about miles per gallon.
Let’s talk about something more important, mainly, how many czars per Obama are you getting?
One of, if not our biggest supporters, Erica, recently asked us if we could put together a list of the “czars” that President Obama has appointed, and what their functions are.
Erica works hard to promote the work that we do here, and in return we are glad to oblige.
Be forewarned however, you may want to grab a snack before you begin to go through the list, you may be hungry by the time you are done.
And, being the “heartless Conservatives” that we are, we took a slightly different approach to this.
We listed the Czar title, followed by the name of the person appointed to that post.
Then, under Official Duties, we spelled out what function the White House would like you to believe that person is performing.
Under Real Duty, we present our perception of what the job entails.
(Although we put a bit of a sarcastic spin on this, all of these positions are real. And at a later date, we will reveal how and why a lot of these people have no business working on any level of government.)
Auto Recovery Czar: Ed Montgomery
Official Duties: Helping America’s automakers work through their re-organization plans.
Real duty: Obama’s repo man
Information Czar: Vivek Kundra
Official Duties: In charge of Federal IT programs.
Real duty: Making sure White House PC’s have up-to-date anti virus programs
Drug Czar: R. Gil Kerlikowske
Official Duties: In charge of federal drug control programs
Real Duty: Making sure no one is firing up a doobie in the West Wing bathroom
Energy Czar: Carol Browner
Official Duties: Keeps the President up-to-speed on energy and climate change issues.
Real duty: Tells the President if it’s raining
Health Czar: Nancy Ann DeParle
Official Duties: Working on passage of health care reform
Real duty: Keeping Obama from sneaking outside for a smoke
AIDS Czar: Jeffrey Crowley
Official Duties: Director of National AIDS Policy office
Real duty: Keeping Washington, D.C.-area condom machines filled
WMD Czar: Gary Samore
Official Duties: Stopping the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction
Real duty: Moving Obama’s stuff out of Hawaii before North Korea launches nuke
(Birth certificate not included)
Bailout Czar: Herb Allison
Official Duties: Overseeing the distribution of TARP funds
Real duty: Keeping an eye on how much interest the loan sharks are charging us
Border Czar: Alan Bersin
Official Duties: Assistant to Dept. of Homeland Security head Janet Napolitano
Real duty: Helping Napolitano keep an eye on Hispanic gardeners
Pay Czar: Kenneth Feinberg
Official Duties: Setting pay limits for top execs of firms that have received TARP funds
Real Duties: Reminding Treasury Secretary to sign the payroll checks
Science Czar: John Holdren
Official Duties: Obama’s top science advisor
Real Duty: Explaining to Joe Biden why water is wet
Urban Affairs Czar: Adolfo Carrion
Official Duties: Planning and carrying out urban renewal programs
Real duty: Obama’s point man in the barrio
Terrorism Czar: John Brennan
Official Duties: Obama’s top advisor on counter terrorism
Real Duty: Assuring internal memos read “enemy combatants”, not “terrorists”
Stimulus Accountability Czar: Earl Devaney
Official Duties: Demanding accountability of how stimulus package funds are spent
Real duty: Stopping Tim Geithner from paying his back taxes with stimulus money
Economic Czar: Paul Volker
Official Duties: Overseeing cooperation and coordination between monetary agencies
Real duty : Picking up the tab when Obama and Biden go out for hamburgers
Technology Czar: Aneesh Chopra
Official Duties: Making sure Federal computer networks are secure from threats
Real duty: Providing hints and cheats to Kundra when he is playing video games
Intelligence Czar: Dennis Blair
Official Duties: Appointing people to the National Security Council
(They had to hire a guy to hire people? Why not use the guy who hired HIM?)
Real duty: Administering IQ tests to Joe Biden
Guantanamo Bay Closure Czar: Danny Fried
Official Duties: Overseeing closure of “Club Gitmo”
Real duty: Booking cruise ship passage for terrorists to Caribbean islands
Green Jobs Czar: Van Jones
Official Duties: Implement environmentally-friendly employment initiatives
Real Duty: Keep Al Gore away from the recycling bin
Regulatory Czar: Cass Sunstein
Official Duties: Overseeing compliance with government regulations
Real duty: Stop White House staffers from stealing office supplies
Great Lakes Czar: Cameron Davis
Official Duties: Overseeing cleanup of the Great Lakes
Real duty: Checking Barack and Michelle’s canoe for leaks
Weapons Czar: Ashton Carter
Official Duties: Overseeing the Pentagon’s weapons buying programs
Real Duty: Keep Joe Biden from shooting off his mouth
Faith Czar: Joshua DuBois
Official Duties: Religious leader charged with continuing Bush’s “faith based inititaves”
Real Duty: Make sure Obama is asleep when preacher proclaims “God Dam America”
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I don’t understand why all 100 Senators are not flipping out about this usurpation of their Constitutional power.
But at least it lead to this hilarious blog.
Lou
Yes, sometimes i feel the need to try and lighten the mood when trying to make a point at the same time.
As for the 100 Senators:
“Who dares to question the Messiah?”
As a practical matter, is all of this legal?
As a second practical matter, how much staff and office space does each of these extra appendages use up? At what cost?
As a third practical matter, don’t the czars reveal a disturbing Obama tendency: namely, to create extra-legal, extra-constitutional structures responsible only to him? I think we should oppose these czars for the same reason we oppose Acorn and that horrible civilian corps Obama talked about–as big and well-funded as the military.
Bruce
We are still researching the concerns you brought up, and will have an answer for you in a few days.
My first visit to the site. Thank you. It appears that there is indeed a movement growing at great speed to try to save what is left of our once great nation. I will indeed be back for your nest update.
Can one tell me where to find the cost to the american public for all of his czars?
While some may find this humorous; in fact this appointing of Czars is more than a bit disconcerting. It is politics on steroids/ plus, oh yawn, unconstitutional. I’ve lost count but I believe the # is somewhere around 35?
Why care? Simply because they are not elected – set policy (see RAT in Detroit taking care of Morgan and Citi) do an end run around ANY oversight, inquiry, by Congress. Fact is these Czars put all the control in the White House/ as they are ONLY answerable to the President. Anybody note this whirlwind of revamping government?
TARP – stimulus – bailing out banks (trillions) Energy (Cap and Trade swindle) – Health Care (Rep and Dems playing Good Cop/Bad Cop when BOTH plans serve Insurance/ big pharma –robbery as usual. This is being done (my opinion) in such HASTE (bills aren’t read or debated) before folks wake up to the fact that this HOPEY – CHANGEY mantra was all scripted nonsense.
Meantime Obama et al are having a GRAND time in the midst of millions out of work – shelters/soup kitchens overwhelmed/ people DYING on ER floors – ongoing 330,000 foreclosures monthly (wait till commercial foreclosures hit). HA and everyone is supposed to go back to community college and get that GREEN Sh*T job at the new going rate (see Detroit) of 12 bucks an hr, NO pensions/ no health benefits.
Those are ONLY for the FRAT/Sorority guys and gals in Foggy Bottom and WE pay 72% of their premium costs/ plus they get YEARLY cost of living (unlike Detroit robbed of their pensions) in their OBSCENE pensions. Huh! How comes our employees are getting better benefits than WE their employers? SHARED sacrifice?
Obama uses Air Force One like a kid with a new golf cart/ he used MORE gas on EARTH DAY than my entire family would use in a lifetime. CAP and TRADE/ a gift to utilities/ big business – as some distant computer SHUTS the electric off – like they did with the 93 year old veteran in Michighan – HE was found FROZEN while Obama turned UP the thermostat in WH to 80.
I’d always thought that leadership demanded compassion and sensitivity to one’s constituents –apparently not. The HOGS in Washington are in it for themselves/
Michel
Glad that you appreciate the work that we are trying to do.
We promise to keep fighting.
Gina
I did both a Google and a Wikipedia search to try and find you an answer and was unable to come up with anything definitive.
I think it would be safe to say that they are costing us far more than they are worth.
Jude
This is something those of us here have been speaking out about time and time again.
The American public either doesn’t care or is not paying attention.
And until such time as they do (and I pray that it’s soon) the HOGS will continue to take all that they can get.
All of the Dems and most of the Repubs in Congress know that Obamao is a socialist / communist and they are not only failing to report it , like it is. Because he is a colored person they are giving him a pass. This political correctness is practiced by these people who suddenly seem to forgot the basis and constitutionality of our Republic as a substitute for the worship of the Obamao mongrel god. This is the same surrender by the Democratic politicians in Germany when they caved in en masse and allowed the monster Hitler to have his way. It is chilling how far this has gone. The American economy is in tatters and this govt sees nothing wrong with hosting a lavish state dinner to welcome the Indian head of state. This Roman banquet in the midst of severe unemployment, shown to homes with nothing on the kitchen tables is a smack down and an affront to the suffering of the American people.